The Cat Cartel Beneath Couture
Mad Cat Cartel is a revolutionary lifestyle brand that brings humor and luxury together through parody designs inspired by iconic high-fashion brands. Targeting cat enthusiasts and luxury aficionados, Mad Cat Cartel transforms famous designer labels into witty, feline-centric creations. This unique approach establishes the brand as a fun, trendy, and exclusive choice for cat owners and fashion lovers alike.
Where Cats Rule the World of Fashion – Parody Becomes Power
Mad Cat Cartel is not just a brand. It's a secret society of cats who rule the world of design – with paws dipped in ink and luxury. Our designs aren’t copies, but parodies. We’re creative rebels with sharp claws who transform the world of fashion into a place ruled by humor and elegance. Pawlenciaga? True. Furrberry? Of course. Gucci, sorry, Mewcci? Always. The Cartel gives luxury brands a new perspective – with a bit of feline sarcasm.
From Idea to Empire
Imagine a world where luxury doesn’t belong to humans, but to cats—mysterious beings who silently dominate the world of design from the shadows. These cats are no ordinary felines. They are the cornerstones of the Mad Cat Cartel, the most prestigious (and most secretive) organization of the feline era. Explore our history to uncover how—and why—the Cartel was created.
Where It All Started
Mad Cat Cartel emerged as an underground movement. Initially, cats just “improved” well-known logos and brands to point out their excessive seriousness. But what started as simple satire quickly turned into a global phenomenon. The Cartel realized that in simple jokes lies immense power. Parodies like Karl Lacatfeld or Adicats won people’s hearts – not just because they were funny, but also because they were high-quality and stylish.
The Revolution Begins
It all began years ago in Paris, in the underground of one of the most luxurious fashion houses where cats would gather to discuss their vision: to bring a revolution to fashion. Cats, who had always moved in the shadows, started to realize that their natural charm and elegance were underappreciated. Humans copied their grace, their patterns (what else are leopard and tiger prints?), yet never showed them respect.
The Birth of the Clawed Elite
Cats were tired of boring patterns and basic logo tees. They wanted something unique—something that reflected their majesty and charm. So they began merging the world of designers with their own "cat" rules. And from that, a plan was born. Under the leadership of the charismatic Don Whiskerone, an elite group of cats decided it was time to take over. Their goal? To change the rules of fashion—to create luxury that doesn’t merely follow human trends, but surpasses them. To create something unique, bold, and unforgettable. And that’s how the Mad Cat Cartel was born.
Secret Conspiracy: Cats vs. Humans
Mad Cat Cartel doesn’t just create clothing. They change the very philosophy of luxury. They say: "Why should luxury be boring? Why should it be taken so seriously?" Their mission is to mock human efforts at perfection and show that cats have always been the true icons of style. Brands like Spurreme, Dolce & Catbbana, or Yves Mew Laurent are just the beginning. Through parody, the cats want to prove that fashion can be luxurious and playful at the same time.
Not Just a Brand. A Network.
Mad Cat Cartel is not an ordinary brand. It's a whole ecosystem combining parody, luxury, and rebellion. But why "cartel"? Because these cats control an entire empire of creativity and parody – and they do it with tactics that could rival the biggest players in the underworld.
The Real Luxury? Freedom to Laugh.
Mad Cat Cartel is a lifestyle brand for those who love luxury but also understand that in a world obsessed with seriousness, sometimes the greatest luxury is simply being able to laugh at fashion, at power, and sometimes at yourself.
Meet Mad Cat Cartel Team
This is the inner circle. The syndicate behind the satire. Every member has a role, and every role reshapes the rules. Together, they operate with calculated mischief and sharp precision—building a fashion empire with every clawed signature. Think you’ve got the instincts, taste, and boldness to be part of something bigger? You can submit your application here. The Cartel is always recruiting talent.
Don Whiskerone – The Mastermind
Don Whiskerone is the Cartel’s founder and final authority. Every design, deal, operation, and move runs through him. He doesn’t follow trends — he sets them. Always in black. Always in control. No interviews. No statements. Just results. Rumored to have nine lives and a separate tailor for each.
🎖️ Rank: Don
♟️ Position: Supreme Strategist
🐈⬛ Breed: American Shorthair x Russian Blue
🎩 Signature: All-black tailored cartelwear
💎 Favourite brands: Mewcci, Alexander MewQueen
💬 Credo: “Power purrs in silence.”
Vito ‘Purrcetti’ Salvatore
Whiskerone’s right paw. Vito runs daily operations, enforces internal order, and coordinates Capos and Specialists. He ensures every drop, delivery, and design runs like a perfectly oiled grooming brush. The only one allowed to interrupt the Don mid-meal.
🎖️ Rank: Underboss
♟️ Position: Chief Operations Officer
🐈⬛ Breed: Charcoal Bengal
🎩 Signature: Wild patterns: leopard, tiger, snake...
💎 Favourite brands: Pawlenciaga, Paw Angels, Off-Whisker
💬 Credo: “No chaos. No delays. No excuses.”
Lady Purrington – The Phantom Muse
The ghost of haute couture. Lady Purrington works by moonlight, guided by instinct and elegance. Her designs blend feline mystique with satire — iconic, elusive, never seen twice. She leaves claw-sketched notes and purrs through paint. No one knows where she is — until the sketches arrive.
🎖️ Rank: Strategic Council
♟️ Position: Creative Director
🐈⬛ Breed: Turkish Angora
🎩 Signature: Silk scarf
💎 Favourite brands: Louis Mewtton, Chewnel
💬 Credo: “Elegance leaves no fingerprints.”
Boss Mewster – The Financial Kingpin
Boss Mewster controls the Cartel’s wealth with calm calculation and absolute precision. From gold-stacked vaults and encrypted ledgers to offshore fish treat reserves, he ensures every asset is clawed in — and none leaks out. The Cartel doesn’t spend — it invests. If you got paid, it’s because he allowed it.
🎖️ Rank: Strategic Council
♟️ Position: Finance Kingpin
🐈⬛ Breed: Golden British Shorthair
🎩 Signature: Wears 5X
💎 Favourite brands: Purrada, Yves Mew Laurent
💬 Credo: “Numbers don’t lie. Humans do. And cats too. Sometimes.”
Miss Meowlin – PR Queen
Miss Meowlin is the Cartel’s outward voice. She doesn’t do customer support — she manages reputation diplomacy with humans. If you’ve received a reply from her, know your issue reached the upper tiers of purrlitical protocol. She curates the Cartel’s image, manages social presence, handles elite gala invites, and occasionally responds to complaints… if they’re worded nicely and sent with appropriate reverence.
🎖️ Rank: Strategic Council
♟️ Position: PR & Reputation Diplomacy
🐈⬛ Breed: Somali
🎩 Signature: Always camera-ready
💎 Favourite brands: Karl Lacatfeld, Mew Mew, Meowschino
💬 Credo: “Your tone determines the outcome.”
Sir Scratch-a-Lot – Master of Claw & Clause
The Cartel’s legal backbone. He drafts bulletproof disclaimers, claws through contracts, and outmaneuvers copyright like it’s kitten play. Every parody survives because he makes sure it can — with claws clean and loopholes closed. If a rival brand wants a fight, he shows them page 12, subsection you lost.
🎖️ Rank: Strategic Council
♟️ Position: Chief Legal Officer
🐈⬛ Breed: Sphynx
🎩 Signature: Documents so sharp they qualify as weapons
💎 Favourite brands: Furdi, Hermèws
💬 Credo: “Parody is protected. So are we.”
Big Paw Tony – Safety Guru
His full name is Anton “Big Paw” Bärlinger — the Cartel’s shield and wrecking ball. Built like a tank, wired like a club bouncer, and loyal beyond reason. Tony handles security, threat removal, and trend enforcement — all with the same iron paw. He bans knockoffs, blocks intrusions, and personally “discourages” anyone sniffing too close. Originally from Berlin. Loves hard techno. Hates weak stitching.
🎖️ Rank: Capo
♟️ Position: Head of Security
🐈⬛ Breed: European Shorthair
🎩 Signature: His pawprint is a warning label
💎 Favourite brand: Pawlenciaga
💬 Credo: “Only the strong stay in style.”
Capo Clawzano – Cleaner
The Cartel’s final solution. When copyright pirates, copycats, or internal leaks appear — he doesn’t respond. He eliminates. No noise. No trace. No second chances. Whether it’s stolen artwork or betrayal in the ranks, Clawzano ensures it won’t happen again. He doesn’t fix problems. He erases their existence. Young, precise, and faster than legal paperwork. The newer generation, with older instincts. Never leaves paw prints. Always gets the last scratch.
🎖️ Rank: Capo
♟️ Position: Cartel Enforcer
🐈⬛ Breed: Australian Mist
🎩 Signature: Streetwear style
💎 Favourite brands: Spurreme, A Bathing Cat
💬 Credo: “Problems don’t get solved. They get erased.”
Meowtrix – The Codepaw
Master of the back-end. Meowtrix controls the e-shop infrastructure, automates drops, detects bugs, and maintains digital security and site speed. If it loads, he built it. If it crashes, he already fixed it. Mixed-breed street genius — origin unknown, parents unregistered. Rumor says he was rescued from the dark web. He built his first firewall before learning to purr.
🎖️ Rank: Specialist
♟️ Position: Tech & Cyber Ops
🐈⬛ Breed: Mixed-Breed Street Genius
🎩 Signature: Dreams in binary
💎 Favourite brands: Adicats, Catverse
💬 Credo: “No parent folder. No leash. Just logic.”
Chef Paulie Gatto – Consigliere of Cat Cuisine
Paulie Gatto ain't no ordinary chef – he’s the famiglia’s trusted food advisor. Born in a back alley behind an Italian bistro in Little Sicily, Paulie clawed his way up from leftover scraps to five-star feline feasts. Now, he’s the go-to guy for any food question in Don Whiskerone’s inner circle. From tuna tartare to forbidden fruits (literally – no grapes, capisce?), Paulie knows what’s safe, what’s gourmet, and what’ll get you in trouble.
🎖️ Rank: Specialist
♟️ Position: Culinary Operations
🐈⬛ Breed: Domestic Shorthair – street-born Sicilian
🎩 Signature: Knife always within paw’s reach
💎 Favourite brands: The North Face, Pawlenciaga
💬 Credo: “You feed a cat garbage? You disrespect the Don.”
Clawdia Velluto – The Clawditor
Cold, precise, and feared. Ms. Ledgerclaw oversees the Cartel’s internal finances with obsessive accuracy. She handles customer refunds, accounting records, and transaction integrity. Every coin accounted for, every expense justified. She once flagged a missing tuna treat as “unrecoverable inventory shrinkage” — and opened an internal investigation. No typo survives her red pen. No return request escapes her glare.
🎖️ Rank: Specialist
♟️ Position: Audit, Accounting & Compliance
🐈⬛ Breed: British Shorthair
🎩 Signature: Red pen of judgment
💎 Favourite brands: Purrberry, Kittian Dior
💬 Credo: “Trust is not an accounting method.”
Raffa ‘Stitch’ Romano
Stitch is responsible for product quality, materials, and print precision. He’s obsessed with premium-grade textiles and flawless construction. Every Cartel garment passes through his claws — and nothing substandard makes it out. Once pulled out a ruler during Milan Fashion Week — to prove a logo was printed 0.3mm off-center. He was right.
🎖️ Rank: Specialist
♟️ Position: Head of Product Quality & Materials
🐈⬛ Breed: Toyger
🎩 Signature: Approved only 7 fabrics last year. Out of 3,200
💎 Favourite brands: Versacat, Dolce & Catbbana
💬 Credo: “Stitch it once. Stitch it right. Or don’t stitch at all.”
Cargo Martineli – The Fetcher
Cargo oversees the Cartel’s entire supply chain — from production to discreet delivery. Every box, tag, and shipment moves under his watchful eye. He runs production, packaging, and stealth dispatches with clockwork precision. Whether it’s a luxury t-shirt in Paris or a hoodie in Tokyo, Cargo ensures it lands fast, flawless, and untouched by human error. If a box vanishes mid-transit? Trust — he’s already on it.
🎖️ Rank: Specialist
♟️ Position: Logistics & Fulfillment
🐈⬛ Breed: Japanese Bobtail (Calico Variant)
🎩 Signature: Never misses a drop
💎 Favourite brands: Meowke, Clawin Klein
💬 Credo: “Everything has a tracking number. Even problems.”
Meowchi ‘Chi’ – Muse in Training
Fluffy, stylish, and always holding something cute — Meowchi is the youngest face of the Cartel. She may look soft, but she’s got VIP status in every department, from capsule drops to lookbook shoots. She wears Pawlenciaga before it’s even announced and sips on boba like it’s a security clearance badge. Some say she’s the secret daughter of Don Whiskerone and Madame Meowlin. Neither have commented. But she has her own office. And two bodyguards. Do the math.
🎖️ Rank: VIP
♟️ Position: Heiress / Future of Fashion
🐈⬛ Breed: Munchkin Longhair
🎩 Signature: Unboxes custom drops before production
💎 Favourite brands: Mew Mew, Meowschino
💬 Credo: “Cute is a weapon. Use it wisely.”
